by: Michelle Jacklyn Miller
“I wish I was a woman,” Sanomeh told his friend, Tamarah.
“I don't know why you don't just come out and tell others how you feel,” Tamarah replied.
“You know how people are in the army,” he insisted. “I already get made fun of because they suspect that I'm gay. Can you imagine how bad it would be if people saw me painting my nails and everything else?”
Sanomeh had purple skin and short blue hair. Most Moldrekian men were up to six feet and three inches tall, but Sanomeh was the average female height at five feet and four inches tall. This fact caused him to get made fun of constantly by the other men. “You don’t belong with the infantry!” They would tell him. “You belong with the ladies.” Back then, women were not allowed in the infantry – something that would change many years later.
Tamarah had sky blue skin and long green hair. She was a couple inches taller than Sanomeh. Her eyes seemed to glow with a beautiful magenta color. “I don't think it would be as bad as you think,” she said. “I've known you since we were in school before you got into the army. You've always liked men, and you've always been feminine. I think most people already know. Look at that guy! He's kind of cute, isn't he?”
Sanomeh turned around to see a striking young man with well-defined muscles. He was about six feet and one inch tall, and he had green skin and black hair. Sanomeh turned back to face Tamarah. He took a sip of his drink and waved to the bartender to refill it. “Why do you always do that to me?” He whispered.
“Do what?” She pretended not to understand. “He's cute, and he's gay.”
“How would you know that he's gay?”
She giggled. “Look at what he's wearing! Straight guys don't usually wear skin tight clothes like that. But it does help that we are in a GAY bar!”
Sanomeh took a deep breath and exhaled. “Oh, yes. That's true.”
“Why don't you go talk to him?” Tamarah suggested. “You don't have to sit here with me. You're going to war tomorrow. You need to have fun tonight.”
“But he might not like me!” Sanomeh pleaded. “He will probably think I'm too feminine!”
“You won't know if you don't talk to him.” She winked.
“I can't!”
“Hmmm!” Tamarah stood up and walked over to the man who had just received his drink from the bartender. “My friend over here thinks you're cute, but he's too shy to talk to you. I'm going to the restroom, so you can take my seat.” Then, she walked away.
From the gods! Sanomeh thought to himself. I can't believe she just did that to me! He tried to turn his head to act like he didn't see anything. He took a huge gulp of his drink and stared into his glass.
“It looks like your friend is trying to play match maker,” a deep voice said as a gentle hand touched his back. Sanomeh looked up into his big yellow eyes and melted inside. The man sat down in Tamarah's seat. “I'm Dolambeh.”
“I'm Sanomeh,” he stammered in reply.
“What kind of work do you do?”
“I'm in the army,” Sanomeh explained. “We are going to war tomorrow. The Ondargs are attacking, and my unit has to protect the border.”
“Wow! I thought you were a little too small to be a soldier.” Sanomeh was taken aback by this, and Dolambeh could see the pain in his eyes. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that most soldiers are much bigger. I'm in the military myself, but I work in intelligence.”
Sanomeh's eyes widened at this revelation. “Really?”
“Yes. Be careful out there. We've had several reports of Ondargs getting behind our barricades and killing everyone there.”
“But that's not supposed to be possible!”
Dolambeh nodded. “I know, but it's been happening. I know of three instances where the teleportation devices got turned off. The Ondargs came in and attacked flying overhead. They were supposed to be teleported back outside our borders. Instead, they turned around and attacked our soldiers from behind. They destroyed the outside border doing this. If you are going out tomorrow, you are at the second level border.”
“There are five borders, right?”
“There are four borders now.”
“Does that mean someone from the inside is doing this? Why would a Moldrekian sabotage our own borders?”
“We've been investigating, but we don't know. It doesn't seem that a Moldrekian is doing it. Perhaps, the Ondargs have created a certain technology to turn off the teleportation devices.”
Sanomeh shook his head. “But the Ondargs aren't supposed to be intelligent enough to create any technology.”
“That's what we've always been taught, but it's hard to explain what's been happening on the border. Please, stay safe out there.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Sanomeh finished off his drink.
“Can I get you another one?” Dolambeh inquired.
Sanomeh smiled. “Sure. Tamarah told me that I need to have fun tonight before going to war.”
“Who's Tamarah? Oh. The girl who was playing match maker, I bet.”
“Yep. That's Tamarah.”
Dolambeh smirked. “Well, if it's fun you need to have, I got you covered. Why don't you come over to my place tonight? I have drinks there, and I'll make sure you get to base on time to report for duty.”
Sanomeh and Dolambeh continued to sit together and finished off the next round of drinks. At some point, Tamarah found her way back over to them and pulled up a seat.
“It's nice to see you two are getting along,” she declared. “If y'all want to have fun tonight, I can get a ride home.”
“Are you sure it's not a problem?” Sanomeh asked bashfully. He didn't want to reveal that they were already planning on going to Dolambeh's place.
“Of course not! And you never know. I might meet a nice girl here tonight too!”
“Oh, right!” Sanomeh exclaimed. “Now I know the ulterior motive in getting rid of me. You're interested in finding someone too!”
“Oh, there's nothing ulterior about it! I'm a lesbian, and I brought a gay man to a gay bar. I'm certainly not going home with you, and you're not interested in me. So, you find a cute young lad, and I find a sexy lady. And we're half way there, since the cute young lad is here in front of us. I'll be on the dance floor trying to find a lonely dancer.”
Dolambeh laughed, his face shining radiantly with an understanding smile. “Your friend is someone who knows what she wants and isn't shy about it!”
“Yes, that's Tamarah. She's been my friend for a long time. She's the only person I've told that I'm gay. She tells me that I should just tell people because everyone knows anyway.”
“It isn't easy to tell people, but she's right that people usually kind of know about us long before we tell them. If you don't feel safe letting people know, don't tell them. I know that the infantry in particular can be very unforgiving to gay soldiers. I have a friend that got beaten up in his sleep.”
“You're not making me feel better about telling others.” Sanomeh raised his drink to his lips and took a sip.
Dolambeh shook his head. “I'm not trying to make you feel better. It's scary. Most people don't know that I'm gay either. I don't go around divulging my business. Maybe, someone has wondered about the guys that I've invited over to my place, but it's none of their business. I told my family that I'm gay, and that's it.”
“I haven't even told my family – just Tamarah.”
“My family had mixed reactions.” Dolambeh took a huge gulp of his drink and continued speaking. “Half of them were very supportive; the other half didn't like it. But those that don't like it aren't all bad and hateful. They try to act supportive, but they say things that lets you know how they really feel. My dad was clearly worried about the fact that he won't continue his lineage through me. He said, 'Who's going to give me a grandson?'”
Sanomeh sighed profoundly. “That's one of the things that I'm worried about. What did you tell your dad?”
“I have a brother that's straight. So, I told him to look to him for his grandchildren.”
“I don't have a brother. What am I going to tell them?”
He put a hand on Sanomeh's shoulder and looked at him directly in his eyes. “Life is a journey. No one can tell you how to do it. Some things you just got to figure it out for yourself. You make mistakes, and you fall down. Then, you get back up and learn from it.”
Sanomeh felt enraptured by Dolambeh. His deep yellow eyes made him feel as though he were peering into his soul. His gentle but firm grip on his shoulder did the rest of the trick to melt him inside. How he longed to be held in the arms of a man like this! “Can we just get out of here?” Sanomeh heard himself whisper.
The two of them quickly stood up together making conversation as they went. Outside the bar, they stood in one of the circular pads on the ground and waited. Within two minutes a blue orb came flying up to them and absorbed them inside. Dolambeh thought about the destination of his home, and the orb took them there and dropped them off.
The following morning, Sanomeh woke up wrapped inside Dolambeh's strong arms. He had a slight headache as the alcohol wore off. He jumped up and got dressed as quickly as possible. When he turned around, he saw that Dolambeh had woken up and was staring at him from the bed.
“I hope you survive the border,” Dolambeh said. “It would be nice to see you again.”
“I'm scared. We've been at war with the Ondargs since before I was born. I've heard the stories. They are the most intelligent dragon species and the only one that can both fly and breathe fire. If they have somehow learned how to turn off the teleportation devices, that would mean that their intelligence has evolved to match ours.”
Dolambeh had jumped up and threw some clothes on as Sanomeh was speaking. “Don't be scared. We don't know what's happening on the border. If their intellect has evolved, they aren't as smart as Moldrekians. We'll figure it out and stop them.” He stepped over close to Sanomeh and put a gentle hand on his upper arm and looked him in the eyes – that dangerous look that melted his heart every time. “Just stay safe and come home in one piece.” He bent down and kissed Sanomeh passionately.
When he pulled his lips away, Sanomeh felt light headed and sat down on the bed. “It's weird because I didn't want to talk to you last night. I was worried that you wouldn't like a feminine man. Most gay guys don't like me. They want masculine men.”
Dolambeh squinted his eyes as if he just heard the most ridiculous thing. “That's not true. Everyone has different tastes. Personally, I like feminine men. I enjoy being top. There are plenty of guys that would kill to be with a small feminine guy like you. You're probably just too shy to give it a chance.”
Sanomeh nodded his head. “Maybe, that's it. I'm shy. I've never had a boyfriend before. I just know that I'm not attracted to women. What we did last night – it was my first time.”
Dolambeh looked shocked. “Really? Damn. It's amazing that you entrusted that to me. I've been with a few guys, but you know how it is. When you're gay, most of them are only interested in sex. So, it's usually a quick one-night-stand. I've never had a relationship.”
“We really don't know each other,” Sanomeh continued. “I thought it was going to be just one night of fun, but that was the alcohol talking – and Tamarah. But I don't know. After talking to you, I feel a connection to you. I would like to see you again if I survive the border.”
Dolambeh didn't reply. There was nothing left to say. He grabbed Sanomeh's hand and pulled him to his feet. Then, they embraced and kissed one last time before he left to war.
That feeling of being loved stuck with Sanomeh all the way to the battlefield. Several hours later, he was out at the border, hunkering down behind the steel barricade they had. These barricades were specially made for fighting off the Ondargs who were currently attacking them. The Ondargs were a species of dragons that inhabited planet Moldrekia (there were over one hundred known dragon species). To protect themselves from the fire that the Ondargs emitted from their mouths as they flew over, the top of the wall, which was twelve feet high, had an arc that went over their heads like an umbrella. These barricades had spaces that allowed soldiers to fire at the Ondargs while staying protected from their fire.
Currently, the first wave of attacks was coming, and they could see the Ondargs flying swiftly toward them. Sanomeh looked through the gap in the barricade next to him. They were one thousand feet away and closing in fast. His heart was pounding in his chest. He didn’t want to die. He was deeply afraid of death. Death was that strange unknown that they couldn’t grasp despite all their technology.
Sanomeh aimed his laser and fired a shot at one of the dragons. These lasers didn’t have triggers like guns on Earth have. Most of the Moldrekian technology was based on telepathic power. He just had to imagine the laser being fired, and it would happen. The laser ripped through the beige scaly skin of the Ondarg coming his direction. A large quantity of yellow blood poured out as the creature fell from the sky, and Sanomeh hid behind the barricade as the surviving Ondargs breathed out a wall of fire that rained down upon them. The soldier next to Sanomeh, Badukeh, who had lime green skin and purple hair, didn’t hide his body behind the barricade in time, and his body was lit on fire.
Out of all the Moldrekians who made fun of Sanomeh, Badukeh had been the worst. Badukeh was a very attractive man who was a towering seven feet tall, muscular, and athletic. He never used Sanomeh’s name. If Sanomeh heard Badukeh’s booming voice say words such as, “pathetic creature,” “weakling,” or “shit-stack,” he would immediately know that Badukeh was talking to him or about him.
With this in mind, one would have assumed that, when Sanomeh heard those bone-chilling screams coming from Badukeh as his face was melting in the flames that danced off his body, he would have been happy or relieved that this terrible bully was getting his just reward. Nevertheless, Sanomeh was not of the character to be vindictive.
Sanomeh intuitively reached his hand out, and something unexpected happened. From the depths of Sanomeh’s heart came an incredible psychic power that very few Moldrekians had, and the fire that was consuming Badukeh was extinguished instantly. All Moldrekians had some level of telepathy, and they used their technology to enhance and benefit from it. However, psychic abilities to move objects or alter objects from a distance were things that made legends. One could count on their two hands the number of Moldrekians who had true psychic powers.
Badukeh continued screaming for a moment as he fell to the ground. His face was disfigured, and his green skin was black as coal. His eyes were sealed shut. A team of medics came quickly and removed him from the battlefield.
Sanomeh was in shock. He had never demonstrated the possibility of psychic power before. This revelation had him stiff as a board as he tried to interpret what he had just seen happen. Could he do it again?
To Sanomeh’s right was a soldier who had orange skin and pink hair. The soldier who replaced Badukeh to his left on the other side of the gap was a soldier who had magenta-colored skin and white hair. Moldrekians were an extraordinary species in their evolutionary diversity. Their skin colors and hair colors were as diverse as the rainbow itself.
Another wave of Ondargs were coming. The Moldrekian blue ‘sun’ was shining brightly over their scaly beige skin. Their hideous teeth were visible as they opened their mouths ready for another rain of fire. Sanomeh took a shot, and his laser ripped through the mouth and head of one Ondarg who fell from the sky. He hid behind the barricade as the fire came down upon them again.
As this fire shot through the gap next to Sanomeh, he saw something that terrified him. With his back against the barricade, there was a line of Ondargs flying toward them on their back side. “From the gods!” Sanomeh exclaimed. This wasn’t supposed to be possible. ‘How did they get behind us?’ He wondered to himself. His mind was racing as he recalled what Dolambeh had told him about their teleportation devices being turned off.
There was no time to react. They would all die there. As soon as the fire ceased from the Ondargs to the front, the Ondargs from behind sent a rain of fire of their own. No one would be able to escape.
Fear struck Sanomeh who covered his face with his arms and dropped his laser on the ground. Then, he waited for his body to be consumed by the fire. He waited to see what the afterlife would be like.
However, after he sat there for a few seconds, he lowered his arms and opened his eyes. Everyone around him was on fire. They were either dying or already dead. Some were lying there motionless as their bodies burned. Others were squirming in pain. Yet, Sanomeh was sitting there without a scratch on him. ‘How is this possible?’ He asked himself. His mind drifted to the moment that he extinguished Badukeh’s fire, and he wondered if he had just used the same psychic power to protect himself.
Reinforcements came quickly to that location. Sanomeh was sitting there with his eyes slowly closing. Even though he survived the blast without getting burned, he was feeling sick and exhausted. His eyes were heavy. A medic came to Sanomeh and waved a device over his head. The device said his temperature was close to two hundred fifteen degrees in the Moldrekian system (105 degrees Fahrenheit). He was almost at the point of having a heat-stroke.
He was given an IV and taken off the battle field. He looked over as they took him off on a stretcher. He saw other airborne Moldrekians using the flying orbs to attack the Ondargs who killed his friends. The orbs would fly to them when a general decided to use them. They were absorbed into the orbs, and they flew over the heads of the Ondargs where they were dropped. They would fire and kill the dragons; then, they had to hope the orbs came back in time to absorb them again before they hit the ground.
The reason they didn’t like using this attack method (unless there were extreme circumstances like the wiping out of an entire battalion in Sanomeh’s case) was because there was usually at least one percent of soldiers that would not be reabsorbed in time and would plummet to their deaths. Sanomeh watched as several soldiers fell all the way to the ground after killing the dragons. Tears filled Sanomeh’s eyes as he was placed into an orb that would take him to a nearby hospital.
Sanomeh was barely conscious at this point. He would be discharged from the military since anyone who suffers a heat-stroke becomes more prone to heat-strokes in the future. However, this day would live and be replayed in Sanomeh’s mind for the rest of his life.
He was in the hospital bed when his family came to visit him. “I can't believe this happened!” His mother exclaimed.
“I'm just glad that he's okay,” his father told her. “Don't pester the boy.”
“Mother. Father. I have something that I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” His mother was the first to respond.
“I'm gay. I can't keep living the lie. I almost died out there. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.” His mother stood there in shock for a moment. She wasn't ready to hear that news. She thought she was coming to see her son who was almost killed at war. This wasn't part of the deal. Meanwhile, his father stood there scratching his head and looking away.
When his mother recovered from the initial shock and picked her jaw up from the floor, she said, “I guess we already knew that. I'll love you no matter what.”
“I need you to call my boyfriend and tell him that I'm in the hospital.”
“Naglah, I need you to step out for a second while I discuss this with my son,” his father's voice boomed before she could reply.
“How do I contact your boyfriend?” She asked ignoring Deleh's request.
“He'll give me that information while you are outside, and we'll call him together. Please, I need privacy with my son.”
Naglah walked out slowly eying Deleh with suspicion. Sanomeh was holding his breath. It didn't sound good, but he had to tell them. When he felt like he was at death's door, he realized how important it would be to live his life authentically.
As soon as they were alone, Deleh sat down on the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath, let it out, and began speaking. “I'm gay too, son.” Sanomeh's eyes bulged. “Well, not gay precisely,” he continued. “I'm bisexual. I had a boyfriend before I met your mother. I was always attracted to both men and women. When my boyfriend broke up with me, I met your mom, and the rest is history. Your mom doesn't know that I'm bisexual or that I've had sex with men. It's something that I've never told anyone. I'm telling you now to let you know that you have no reason to be afraid of who you are when you are around us – especially me.”
“Why did he break up with you?”
“Because he didn't want to live a lie, and I wasn't ready to tell people that I was in a relationship with another man.”
“I see.”
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